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I was in a suburb (as explained in this post) the other day.. And i just, by chance happened to see my long lost friend, Uncle Salaam spinning in a brand new 335i.. Wat a beast that car is.. I managed to get his attention by waving a R10 note and he came to me.. “UBG bah, long time bah.. Where u lost bah..” UBG enquired about the new car.. “This car bah, i bought now before ramzaan bah.. So i pay less jakaat bah.. Last year i bought property in Umhlanga bah”.. Wats the latest.. So after spending a staggering 112 minutes with Uncle Salaam, UBG came up with the ff:
- Uncle Salaam uses one Lipton tea-bag over 2 days
- Uncle Salaam’s favourite juice is Kan-Joos
- Uncle Salaam’s wife asked him to go get containers to store left over food, he called Transet
- Uncle Salaam takes alternate routes to Deben to avoid toll fee’s
- Uncle Salaam won a trip for 2 to mauritius, he went twice
- Uncle Salaam has a section in his wallet for coupons
- Uncle Salaam has a parking meter outside his shop.
- Uncle Salaam invented Park n Ride.. U park by his shop, u go in.. And he take you for a ride
- Uncle Salaam goes to donate blood and asks for a tax receipt
- Uncle Salaam reads the Bible and Quraan cos it has stories on Prophets..
- Uncle Salaam needed a new safe for his oopling rokrah, so he went to THE MATTRESS FACTORY
- Uncle Salaam knows the tax laws better than SARS
- Praveen Gordon calls Uncle Salaam for tax evasion scam methodolgy’s and preventions
- His daughter call’s Uncle Salaam ‘deddy’ (http://hamishpillay.wordpress.com)
- Uncle Salaam asked his wife, Aunty Barbie for her VAT number after paying mihr (http://hamishpillay.wordpress.com)
- Uncle Salaam’s first piece of furniture in his new house was a money counter and UV light to check for fake notes (http://hamishpillay.wordpress.com)
- Fifa bought World Cup tickets from Uncle Salaam at a premium
- Diff between Uncle Salaam and a boat is that a boat tips sometimes
Thats all for now.. Feel free to add your own
Uncle Bhai Gora on behalf of KiLLa.co.za
Hi There
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Please find images below..
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on behalf of KiLLa.co.za
So this is just a tribute 2 the good ‘ol times.. And what better way than to do it in the way we knew best at the time.. This is a post dedicated to 3 school friends who conjured this up on a trip away in 1998..
So like a shipment of medicine was sent by SA to Somalia, and it got sent right back.. Why thought the SA government.. Simple replied the somali’s.. It says take one after every meal.. We dont have meals…
- So like what do the somalis use as a grandstand – A typewriter..
- Wat do they use as sleeping bags – Hose Pipes..
- What do u call a somali with a swollen foot – A golf club..
- What do u call 3 somali’s walking next to one another – Adidas..
- What do u call a somali with a big head – A Matchstick..
- What do u call a somali with a cowboy hat – A clutch pencil..
- How did the somali get to the moon – He was playing with a rubber band..
- How do they implement death penalty in somalia- Use them as fishing bait..
- What do u call a fat somali – Gifted..
- What do somali’s use as raincoats – Condoms..
- Why did the somali cross the road – To run away from the chicken..
- What do u call a somali bendin over – A U-Turn sign..
- Why at a somali garage you’ll find one somali carrying another – Dipstick..
- What do u call a somali with a turban – Fishing rod..
- How did the somali win 100m race – A chicken was chasing him..
- What do u call a indian somali – A velon( aka rolling pin)
- Where did the somali go when the wind came – Egypt
Just a few from the good ‘ol days.. There were many more that i cannot post due to offensive material.. For example, what do u call a somali with no clothes – A Choc Stick and what do u call an albino somali – A Joint.. So until next time enjoy..
hosted on KiLLa.co.za
So heres some help to avoid the MASAI MARA plaza stampede these weekends to come before EID.. Click on the following link for the full range, pricelist and contact details.. (facebook link) –> http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=202617&id=556031002&l=c984449893
hosted on KiLLa.co.za
Pic sourced from Sky Sports website
On Sunday, 22nd August, Arjun Atwal became the first INDIAN to win a PGA event.. Firstly congrats to the man who i’ve been told is from the Laachpor ghaam (not confirmed).. He follows Indian greats like Leander Paes and Mahesh Bupathi (sourced from Azee)..But how is this relevant to this blog.. Simple.. By him winning, this is how its going to revolutionise the game of golf.. Indian style
- The golf carts will now have 12″ rims and subwoofers..
- There will be mugh and gadraa beans served at the halfway house..
- Every birdie will be followed by a 6 and a half minute choreographed dance session..
- For an eagle/albatross/hole in one –> Shah rukh khan will make a guest appearance..
- Caddys must now wear those Bolly Wood outfits and use that scarf to clean the ball..
- A killa.co.za and UBG production
- Birdie will now be referred to as ‘challee”..
- Instead of the “tiger fist pump” there will be ‘balle balle’ or head shakes (yes is no and no is no type shakes)..
- There will be no Green jacket at the Masters, there will be a Laal Dupatta..
- There will be no Masters, it will be renamed to The Amitabh (the grand master)..
- The Ryder Cup will be the Rajah Cup..
- A killa.co.za and UBG production
- The greens will be called garden chops..
- Barefoot policy will come into play..
- The lady caddy must always walk 10 steps behind the golfer..
- The word “FOUR” for a stray shot will now be called “TAREE GAAN”
- Paan spitting bins will be allocated at all tee boxes..
- Mumbai will host a Major..
- A killa.co.za and UBG production
- A cricket bat can be used instead of a driver..
- Sachin Tendulkar will be a PGA hall of famer by default..
- Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer and Gary Player will attend IIFA awards and get Lifetime Achievement Awards..
- There will be a new talent show on Zee Tv called “Drive, India Drive” and for kiddies called “Putt, India Putt”..
- A 100 score will get a standing ovation..
- There will be a movie called “Kabhi putter kabhi hole”
Thats all for now, feel free to add your own..
UBG on behalf of KiLLa.co.za
